Try using hair styling mousse. I'd advice you try hard not to blow dry and flat iron as it is probably damaging your hair. Since you have it short the damage can't be too bad... but it does sound as if you have fine hair... which is like a fine fabric. Can you imagine washing a fine fabric and drying it w/o taking steps to protect it ?
If you must blow dry ... use john freida's heat serum beforehand. Just a dime sized amount... all thru towel dried hair... then some mousse.
I suggest you use a large tee shirt too dry it ... just take it and blot all round before putting product in. This way it won't need as much blow dryer time. The jersey material makes hair frizz less than a towel will.
I'd bet tho... if you would just use some mousse and tweak it round till it's air dried it'd look nice.
The style for young men right now is that tweaked out end look you say you have.